The scatchings of a quill

I doubt anybody reads...

2009-10-26T23:56:00.002+08:00

...but to the interested, this moment of mugging for the IB finals, finishing the last touches to a much hoped upon university application, and the distant specter of enlistment makes one wonder, "Is this it?"

Since I'm still doing IOC...

2009-07-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

...I'll keep it short like the twittery beings we're turning out to be. Trying to google Singapore with any of the following terms:

- novelists
- fiction
- man booker
- nobel prize for literature
- shakespeare

is a predictable yet darkly humourous enterprise in futility. Moreso if you come across a particular prologue for a certain book that shall not be named due to its mind-eating dreadfulness that will have its booklaunch as part of the Singapore Writers Festival to showcase local literary talents. Convoluted, but I shall refrain from putting a link in case of unwarranted attention.

On the other hand, university applications threaten to yank my writing habits out of the closet for official declaration. Dreadful, isn't it?

Running the gauntlet

2009-07-12T20:38:00.000+08:00

Jx says:
it seems that we have a whole gauntlet to run from now

Jx says:
even with the mid years ending

Jx says:
prelims is about 9 weeks from now, with IOC in the middle

Jx says:
and 5 weeks after that is the actual IB exams

Wull - Just a dreamer after all says:
indeed

Wull - Just a dreamer after all says:
and so, in the immortal words of our principal

Wull - Just a dreamer after all says:
let us pray

Jx says:
http://deadwinter.cc/page/069.htm

Jx says:
like this

Jx says:
=D

On the [n]th day of studying

2009-07-02T22:15:00.002+08:00

Where n = 30+.

Makes me wish that some dratted thing around here can C-H-A-N-G-E for once. The nearest outlet is fiction, but escapism does little for a room with notes as one's bunkmates. The landscape knocks the mindscape back into place.

I had a post, but Bio ate it.

n

2009-03-28T15:20:00.005+08:00

Just some link-sharing, in context to the education angst that has been going on recently.

An article from Psychology Today

Apparently something like that can and does exist on the very same time and dimensional plane as us. A distant utopia of learning, perhaps.

This holiday...

2009-03-21T12:01:00.001+08:00

...POP ended.

...I've taken a bit of time off to dawdle with various things.

...learned a bit more on the process of songwriting.

...got Betrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy, which will make good reading for a long time from now.

...gotten that old story idea rolling off from the flat and sagging middle towards where it's supposed to go.

Not too bad, for a math-portfolio-ridden week, along with other things.

The next leap

2009-03-04T17:25:00.004+08:00

And to think that, looking back from those halcyon days of childhood (or whatever suitably nostalgic sentiments that counts for it, for people our age. I think most readers here would know, especially after all that sighing over days gone by. But I digress too much in the blatantly authorial third person again.), and forward into the future yet to come, there'd be another great leap forward, into another unknown where we can all be happily miserable about the past again.

Splitting ways, heading into NS, universities. Finding new groups of friends and in the usual biological manners, a mate. Going into the workplace and being busy.

After NS (and the perpertual nannying of the state in teaching us to be proper citizens of the motherland), everything from then on would be entirely up to us. Granted, we've always had that capacity to choose, for even the most impossible of barriers are often those constructed by habit and repetition. It seems impossible, a damning choice to leave school, moreso at these levels. But to take a step back and think: What are these qualifications? A currency that is commonly agreed upon as a ready estimate of your worth and capabilities, perhaps even who you are as a person. Opt out, lose out, for no right minded employer would take you, leaving all those menial jobs that has been serving as the national bogeyman for kids. Score well, or end up sweeping the road.

But in the end, it's an agreed upon means of exchange, a common constructed system of measurement. Just as the cost of a metal tells us nothing of its qualities, an arbitary system of weighing people's worth says nothing about a person's virtues and flaws. When we reach that fateful 21, where we are left to fledge out on our own, all thoice choices, even in the face of seemingly insane decisions, becomes our responsibility. Even if your parents still place down expectations on who you should be, and the wider world around agrees that it is the way to go, the choice is still yours, and now, so will its consequences. Currently, we have gone through a whole parade of institutions to be instituted in, and for the most part, we didn't have much choice, considering that we wouldn't have known better. But now that we do, try following society's expectations and at the end say "they made me do it". At that point, try reversing time. Who knows, it may work, just for you.

Once we've reached that point (or are already there), all choices would be there for us, even if its against the common wisdom of the time. However we choose to leap or plunge off our safe little nests, crash or soar, it'll be us who'll feel the scraping dirt, or the soaring exuberance above.

Yeah, that's more or less it, while ranting time off that could be used for World Lit while waiting for a printer to reinstall. But as I said...nevermind. Already said.

This form of writing would be incoherent to the proper elements of style in English and TOK essay writing. But you're reading it, and I'm using second person while breaking the fourth wall. So much for that.

Editing and hilarity

2009-03-01T21:17:00.002+08:00

It's funny to read your own writing from over a year ago and realize how amazingly crappy it can be.

A quick snippet

2009-02-14T15:49:00.004+08:00

to fill something in for the month of February.

"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."

- Pablo Picasso

Well, at this season of youth, it seems that everyone is out there with a bit of music in their step, from the gathered bands of people and their usual instruments (guitar, bass, drums, etc...), listening to this or that band or group, playing piano pieces, learning instruments, singing at most opportune moments. But let's get a little ahead of ourselves. What happens to all this when we get a bit more worn?

Just ask anybody who has worked for long enough, perhaps your aunts or uncles, who would probably be suitably middle aged. A past love for the Beatles, playing drums in a smallish HDB room, a painting of a geisha on the wall, little tubes of paint and ink. By now, nothing remains except these obscure footnotes of loose objects and accounts.

And by then, our merrymaking would become amusing histories for our children and younger relations. Amusing in the way that the raw days of youth seem horribly incongruous with the polished professional in the present.

P.S. Older folks would like to say something on the point of young people getting too carried away with their pursuit of music and art, away from their proper role as students of the imperial examinations (some things never change, huh?) and forgoing their studies. But if everyone thought that way, why am I listening to songs from various musicians and bands on my mp3 player right now? The mp3 player may not even be there, if it were the case.

Visual thinking

2009-01-08T23:28:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year (in advance)

2008-12-31T18:09:00.002+08:00

The soup is cooked, and it's time to go of for the usual new year's mucking about. But before that...

In the entire existence of a non-conscious universe, any new years experienced within a human lifespan are negligible.

So happy new year, all the same. Like the Monty Python song.

" Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough,

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour.
Thas orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars;
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go 'round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! "

The Newer Year Will Come Soon Enough (i.e. 2010)

2008-12-30T13:29:00.004+08:00

Yeah, I've been hermitting under a rock somewhere, so it's time for another short post.

Goals for the new year:
- Do more drawing, which is fine enough, as 10-15 minutes of drawing every other workday night is much more manageable than 10-15 minutes of writing. 10 minutes especially. For writing, that's just warmed up, sometimes not even close.
- Finish yet another draft.
[insert other things here]
...
...
...
- Still get enough sleep
- EETOKIA and homework, as usual

Scraping the bottom of the barrel, as of now.

Perhaps I should get a deviantart account so as to make use of the little bit of human programming termed as the "sunk-cost fallacy" to poke me into drawing. That'd be useful.

The Art of Making Pixar's Ratatouille

2008-12-16T17:49:00.003+08:00

For those who've watched it before, the film is surprisingly artsy in its use of colours, and how the colour itself is another seen yet unseen element in telling the story. More on it here. Warm and cool colours becomes a means of expressing the character's feelings, and a limited palette of neutral tones expresses the richer dabs of colour more intensely.

Rémy: Whoa you've gotta taste this! It's-it's got this kind of, burny, melty, it's not really a smoky taste, it's-it's a certain, oh, it's kind of like a "Whoosh! Kaboom! Zap!" kind of taste, don't you think? What would you call that flavor?
Émile: [hesitantly] Lightning-y?
Rémy: Yeah! It's lightning-y!

Lazy with posting

2008-12-16T09:46:00.004+08:00

Partly from EE, and partly from nothing much else to talk about. So, random quotes and trivia all around.

Currently at the 30k word mark, about 2/3s through.

It turns out that one of the more major problems in my EE has more to do with people problems than the actual experiment itself. Going to the labs = stress. Labs = guess who?

And now for the random quotes by Shel Silverstein, both witty and spot on.

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

“All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' In The Sun,
Talkin' 'Bout The Things
They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done...
But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All Ran Away And Hid
From One Little Did.”

“This bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wonderous worlds Ive known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone"

Interesting artist, that guy. Of course, Wikipedia dispenses most details in a way that would horrify Orwellian readers.

Human Insecurity is Big Business

2008-11-19T09:38:00.003+08:00

And a typical example can be found in the ads (for those that read the papers). Just in this morning in the Classifieds of the Straits Times; a whole page on "Nurturing the Young", featuring programmes such as "Ultimate A'STAR PSLE Intensive", "Gifted Education Preparation Programme" and a "Powermind Bootcamp '08", all of these promising achievement, success in life and the best for your children (guess who is reading?).

Imagine the kind of money that can be made off these people. All you have to do is to point it out, make them feel the weight of everything they don't have. Then you offer them a service to ease that burden of worthlessness (or the feeling of it). Best of all, customers willingly part with their money for such services. No one's forcing them with the point of a knife or anything, yet their actions and motives become willing souls for someone else's objectives, and whoever it is can happily part with their share of free will.

Note to self: Learn how to pull the puppet's strings.

Pardon me, I feel a tad bit psychopathic today.

For the free-spirited

2008-11-14T19:09:00.002+08:00

...and those with plenty of time, here's another TED presentation related to creativity and play.

Tim Brown: The powerful link between creativity and play

In a sentence, it's about how simple child's play is highly related to creativity, and how this kind of play of imagining and working possibilities out of the most mundane of objects can help to break out of a particular frame of mind and into new possibilities and experiences that we may not have thought of before.

Long sentence there. It's pretty interesting, with the same idea behind it as the other TED talk that I've hauled up here before.

A-muse-ment

2008-11-02T21:16:00.006+08:00

Yeah, I'm being lazy with blogposts and procrastinating on it. Blame Chinese B and Bio-Olympiad and EE. TOK doesn't count since it's pretty fun.

On the point of the post, I saw an advert for a programme about a mother suffering from cancer (one of those shows on channel 8), and she said it "was the happiest time of her life", or something very close to that extent (± 1 word). It's one of those darnedest things about life that's almost, if not abjectly funny. Why is it that people start living when they know that they're dying?

"No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time in the office'" - Attrributed to a friend of Senator Paul Tsongas of Massachusetts. No idea who he is, but it was referenced in a speech by a writer, with a similar idea in mind here.

Life is wasted on the living, indeed.

And in a way, the label "Life" below isn't too far from "Life/Death". What's one without the other?

Happy birthday

2008-10-27T21:49:00.003+08:00

Still busy with a whole whirl of stuff, from Chinese B exams and Bio-Olympiad and EE, so I shall scribble a bit to commemorate something; the first anniversary of my current writing project. Wasn't exactly today, but somewhere around this time. But that's all for today.

Time

2008-10-20T19:54:00.004+08:00

Just a little exercise for the bored.

- Get a calculator.
- Not being exact here, but minus your current age in years off 80.
- Multiply by 365.
- Minus by 1.
- Minus by 1 again to get ANS - 1.
- Keep pressing the button until you reach 0.

Done? There goes a little simulacrum of a lifespan. It's possibly amusing, I guess.

The Gambler

2008-09-06T21:33:00.003+08:00

On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
'til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, I've made a life out of readin' peoples faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Now ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause ev'ry hands a winner and ev'ry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealins' done.

- Kenny Rogers, The Gambler
From: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/kenny+rogers/the+gambler_20077886.html

A working brain.

2008-09-03T21:14:00.000+08:00

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost

Thought of the day

2008-08-28T19:23:00.001+08:00

A little epiphany came during piano lessons today. In art, the opposite of truth can yet be another truth.

Open Yale Courses

2008-08-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

There are plenty of free resources on the internet with enough searching, and those interested in university level lectures on subjects such as Astronomy, Philosophy (on the topic of death), Psychology (an introduction to the subject), Political Science can go to here:

Yale Open Courses

The podcast lectures makes decent listening for learning more stuff out of the current curriculum. Currently crunching through Freud on psychology, the previous lecture on the brain and it's functions (and the rejection of dualism) was interesting. Still, there's a lot more to go.

Life goals as of the 20th of August, 2008

2008-08-20T19:37:00.003+08:00

- Finish writing my current project (likely date: 2010+)
- Publish said current project (2010+)
- Continue to write
- Study psychology in university (2011-2014?)
- Set up a blogshop or a suitable small business involving arts and crafts (early stages at the end of this year. After IB, during university). Always wanted to dabble a bit with crafting and selling stuff.
- Continue to pursue various little pursuits, a current one being playing the piano, others ranging from painting, learning Japanese, picking up a craft, and anything else.
- Avoid being overly dependent on the typical 9 to 5, in order to fully (if not more fully) devote my time to developing and working on my writing. After all, scribbling notes into the margins of a tight textbook print of a life does little to create a new book with new ideas. A part of success comes from trying and trying again, and producing enough works both to improve one's craft and increase the chances of producing something that meets the wants of readers.
- And to support this main offensive, continue to learn more on investing, live life frugally and healthily so as to make use of as many productive years as possible.

And sometime after, so ends this mortal life.

-----

It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

It is not a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled.
But it is a calamity not to dream.

It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal,
But it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture.

It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars.
But it is a disgrace not to have stars to reach for.

Not failure, but low aim is a sin.
Dr Benjamin Elijah Mays
1894-1984

Halycon days

2008-08-16T16:32:00.010+08:00

It's funny that the best of times are often referred to in the past tense, never quite the "good new days" that lie ahead of us to be discovered, but rather the "good old days". It would seem that there's some mystical quality in the mysts of time that makes the times past all the more memorable. Perhaps it's the dulling of the grittier details, giving those old memories a fuzzy golden sheen. A small glow to mark the way we've passed, yet too distant for us to feel the warmth of its colours.

Perhaps, in the face of the winding roads ahead, the surety of a bobbing trail of warm lights that follows us becomes an island of hope, where all things have come to pass, troubles laid to rest and uncertainties lifted. It's good to look back, a moment enough, to muster one's courage and move on to the wandering ways ahead, into the days that will be, the story that is still in the telling.

" When I am dead
Cry for me a little
Think of me sometimes
But not too much.
Think of me now and again
As I was in life
At some moments it's pleasant to recall
But not for long.
Leave me in peace
And I shall leave you in peace
And while you live
Let your thoughts be with the living. "

The hive

2008-07-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

In the midst of all that OCS public-relations stuff, one thing that was mentioned, or at least came to mind, was that of officers being similar to the rest of the army in the way that men are trained for different roles, each filling his (or her, but much more rarely) part in the overall organization that's the armed forces.

Then a thought came. Us JC-equivalent students weren't too far from this path, what with the time, effort and government budget spent so far on developing us to this point. In the case of us GEP students, especially with the recent survey/study showing that academically, those that went through the programme were more likely to graduate from higher-end universities and so on. The usual stuff. By now, we'd easily have additional costs numbering in the tens of thousands that went into funding our programmes, teachers, curriculum and subsidies. And this investment is meant to develop us towards taking prominent roles in society, to get awards, contribute back to society by our acheivements. In short, the government has set down resources towards the development of a select bunch of youths (or kids, back then) for us to fill those ranks that, as much as they're in the desired higher echelons of society, still needs people to take their positions in the grand order of life as it is here.

What differs it, from a hive of bees that may produce queen bees simply by additional resources that sets it on it's path, to fulfill a role in the hive? Any developing bee that was sufficiently able and healthy could have been the recipient of such a privilege, all that's needed was just to give it the right conditions to grow upward into it's role. There's nothing highly privileged about the whole business; the hive needs it's queens/workers/drones, and developing it's grubs towards these roles is impersonal. Someone needs to fill in the job to keep things running.

Perhaps all this education, rites of passage as defined by *ahem*, no matter what our rank or standing, it's comforting to know that we've been all developed by the hive towards it's needs, to fill in the running order of things for the times to come.

Slow down

2008-07-04T20:20:00.005+08:00

Read the first bit, and try to guess the reason before reading on.

"The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn’t say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, “Do you have a fixed parking space? I’ve noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot.”

...

To which he replied, “Since we’re here early we’ll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don’t you think? Imagine my face."

It never quite had occurred to me that it could work out that way. Funny how the way of life here makes such a notion go out of mind.

And more other things at the original site: Zen Habits - Slow Down... to Enjoy Life

PS: Scratched up a little essay on paper, but will be getting around to typing it in this weekend.

World domination

2008-06-28T11:39:00.004+08:00

Since I'm spending my erstwhile free time reading, and balancing the usual Chemistry equations, here's...

A brief guide to world domination

By Chris Guillebeau.

Of course, I'd like to mention that there's quite an anti-establishment bias there. Not that it's a problem, but you can decide where the facts and opinions begin and end, both in my statements and in his.

A little quote...

2008-06-21T20:50:00.003+08:00

"Imagination was given man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humor to console him for what he is." - Francis Bacon

The little secrets Big Brother didn't want you to know

2008-06-18T21:54:00.004+08:00

The Economic Costs and Political Allure of Conscription

The dirty little secrets your social studies textbooks didn't want you to know. Remember the old adage we stuffed into our young heads at that time, that it was too costly to have a professional army?

That's the monetary cost, but what about the opportunity cost of tens of thousands of young men who could've started work,on something that they would've been more well suited for?

And other things. Do read to put yourself in a politically incorrect state of mind.

And lengthy dialogue:

ANON says:

god i actually looked at the stomp website >__>

Jx says:

i don't think i have to say too much

ANON says:

no you don't

Jx says:

any other comments?

ANON says:

my brain hurts/

ANON says:

journalism mangled

Jx says:

take 1d6 nonlethal stupid damage

ANON says:

lethal

ANON says:

"Man steals my wireless connection!"

ANON says:

I would certainly defend Singapore if need be .Its not just about defending singapore militarily you know.Its also about defending Singapore economically,psychologically,socially etc.

ANON says:

anonymous on defending the country

Jx says:

hmm

ANON says:

hmm?

Jx says:

i wonder how one does that?

ANON says:

not considering the level of depth of the responses, what would your response to the subject matter be?

Jx says:

if there's a need to defend it militarily, i don't have much of a choice there

Jx says:

get pulled along, try to survive i guess

Jx says:

but then again, i never really supported the military and their methods

ANON says:

war means a failure of diplomacy

Jx says:

the irony of the military is that they exist because other people's militaries exist

Jx says:

that too

ANON says:

so long as there are people, there will be militaries

Jx says:

http://ethesis.helsinki.fi/julkaisut/eri/hecer/disc/106/theecono.pdf

Jx says:

the economic costs of conscription

ANON says:

"army" is the official label for armed men

ANON says:

where'd you find it?

Jx says:

tunnelling through wikipedia in unpolitically correct content and frames of mind

Jx says:

do you think singapore is still somewhat stuck in a mentality more suited towards the post-independence years?

ANON says:

interesting question

Jx says:

not only conscription, but also things such as the methods of handling and doing things, and keeping up with the times

ANON says:

i can provide inductive reasoning

Jx says:

i.e. creativity and innovation that they talk so much about?

ANON says:

parallel it with skills upgrading

ANON says:

we are, installing creativity

Jx says:

could it still be called creativity?

Jx says:

in the sense that we refer to it?

ANON says:

who knows

ANON says:

upgrading is quite a thing for singapore

ANON says:

not just education, but also technologically and the like in the form of ever-present construction sites

ANON says:

the question is whether singapore is ready to upgrade our mindsets

ANON says:

ironically, upgrading to a point beyond upgrades

Jx says:

somehow i have the feeling not quite yet

ANON says:

whether it is or not, it's game for discussion

Jx says:

after all, singapore's populace is still rather conservative

ANON says:

our lifetime will be interesting

ANON says:

since we'll see the passing out of the indepedence era and what remains of WW2

Jx says:

ANON says:

and of course, the going of LKY

Jx says:

most definately

ANON says:

unless he's planning to be immortal or smth

Jx says:

he's not going to live another 80 years

ANON says:

my imagination considers statues of him very plausible

Jx says:

if he does, search his house for a phylactery and smash it to itty bitty pieces

Jx says:

yeah..

ANON says:

we'll name awards after him too

ANON says:

and museums

Jx says:

my opinion is that the remaining generation is still keeping these mindsets in place

Jx says:

there's already the lee kuan yew water award or something like that

Jx says:

many of the top civil service and business posts are kept by middle aged or above people

ANON says:

that im my opinion is partly because of confucianist values

ANON says:

in*

ANON says:

respect for seniority

ANON says:

even in wages if i recall correctly

ANON says:

as for the new generation, i'm not particularly hopeful either

ANON says:

if anything, it seems very shaky

Jx says:

the brain damage still hurts?

ANON says:

somewhat

ANON says:

at least the indepedence generation had a major national event to bring them together

ANON says:

even if it's intergenerational bigotry now, it kind of gave them an identity didn't it?

ANON says:

LKY was the man of those days

Jx says:

hmm...

Jx says:

read page 7 of the article

Jx says:

2nd paragraph

Jx says:

the sneaky little secret your social studies book didn't want you to know

ANON says:

hm.

Jx says:

We're the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives." ~ Tyler Durden, 'Fight Club', 1999

Jx says:

from mr quek's email signature

Jx says:

i want to read that book sometime

ANON says:

interesting

Jx says:

it's interestingly apt

Jx says:

see wikiquotes

Jx says:

thematically, it's around there

ANON says:

sorry, too busy to check wikiquote

ANON says:

i'm too busy cramming my head with information i'll forget in a few weeks time rather than thinking over matters of national consciousness

ANON says:

i should read some economics

ANON says:

the article's quite useful for understanding certain phenomena

Jx says:

posted on my blog

ANON says:

wait

ANON says:

isn't having a conscript army then economically inefficient?

ANON says:

and how does economy preoccupied singapore tolerate that?

Jx says:

dunno

ANON says:

the point is that we're forced to join the army anyway

Jx says:

opportunity costs means that there are costs due to the fact that we could have had a better alternative

ANON says:

yeah

Jx says:

so in a sense, it isn't a cost in dollars

ANON says:

i read that much into the econs textbook

ANON says:

a cost in could-have-been dollars then

Jx says:

yeah

ANON says:

ninja money.

Jx says:

funny how this runs about

ANON just sent you a nudge.

ANON says:

oops

ANON says:

slip of the mouse

Jx says:

i hypothesise that lky isn't that bad an economist, but the post-independence mentality still plays a strong role

Jx says:

i also hypothesise that he is still very much in control

ANON says:

what is this post indepedence mentality really?

ANON says:

and what is our generation's mentality?

Jx says:

i can say quite surely that the post-independence mentality is one that was evolved to meet the needs of a time already past

ANON says:

the aspirations of our parents might have been: my family and i aren't very well to do, when i grow up, i'll become a doctor/engineer/lawyer/something so we can get rich

ANON says:

fair enough

ANON says:

us (as i see it from my brother's batch in med school): my family and i are well to do, when i grow up, i'll become a doctor/engineer/lawyer/something so i can get rich more.

ANON says:

i hear my older friend's opinion of OCS:

ANON says:

full of people who want to out-do everyone else, for money and prestige and stuff

ANON says:

like a mini RI

ANON says:

fine, not mini

ANON says:

and he's miserable about it i guess

ANON says:

my brother says the same about some of his batch people

Jx says:

my mother says it's probably good for character building

ANON says:

the army?

Jx says:

to be a leader

Jx says:

my ass and the back end of my boot!

Jx says:

ocs

ANON says:

ok, BMT might be ok

ANON says:

but OCS is causing my doubts now

Jx says:

i stated that i only wanted something that would give me the space to daydream and not strain myself in defence of the motherland

ANON says:

i don't mind defending the motherland,

Jx says:

i.e. enough time for writing

ANON says:

but i want to do it with imagination and art

Jx says:

like say japanese anime

ANON says:

Jx says:

art and culture is a form of diplomacy, in such a way

ANON says:

even in the military, you can be imaginative

ANON says:

officers like our friend Rommel had imagination definitely

ANON says:

generals can be philosophers too

Jx says:

i kind of doubt that about here

ANON says:

in the context of modern SAF i doubt that too

ANON says:

it's nice to have top-end rocket systems to show off to the public

ANON says:

but morale-wise i'm not sure how strong the SAF is

ANON says:

whether conscripts will evaporate when war comes

ANON says:

comparatively

Jx says:

and we've heard quite a bit about the (in)effectiveness of bmt

ANON says:

bmt hotel

ANON says:

though admittedly im not complaining about that on a personal level

Jx says:

how's it like nowadays?

Jx says:

enough time at night to crack out a notebook?

ANON says:

the facilities are pretty nice

Jx says:

(not the computer)

ANON says:

nor would you want to crack that

ANON says:

not sure

ANON says:

maybe an hour?

ANON says:

but you might use it polishing boots and caring for your rifle

Jx says:

depends though

Jx says:

at the later parts, it might be possible to become efficient enough for some time to be set aside

ANON says:

there'll be enough time in various places

ANON says:

the church youth group uncle (who sometimes talks about his army experiences to the 5 of us) says there's enough time to get out a pocket bible

ANON says:

so i don't see why not a notebook

Jx says:

that's good

ANON says:

like on a truck

ANON says:

going somewhere and doing nothing

Jx says:

what if it's headed for swamps, then?

ANON says:

then keep your notebook in a ziploc

ANON says:

the worst thing that can happen to you in BMT is the fieldcraft exercise i guess

ANON says:

ie learn how to live in the jungle for 7ish days without changing your clothes

Jx says:

livable, i guess...

ANON says:

quite

Jx says:

just get a good shower when you're done

Jx says:

and maybe some sack time

ANON says:

there're nice ditches to sleep in

ANON says:

hope it doesn't rain

ANON says:

then again, if you construct your ditch properly, it shouldn't bother you

ANON says:

i mean, it's like a bath and sleep at the same time

ANON says:

we should have these conversations more often

ANON says:

it exercises the brain a bit

Jx says:

yeah

Jx says:

coming to think of it, i wonder how the thesis would fare if put in the singaporean press

ANON says:

i wonder how many people will bother reading the thing

ANON says:

and/or drawing a meaningful conclusion or discussion from it

Jx says:

that aside, how about the reactions of all those ministers?

Jx says:

reading it, this thing addresses plenty of things our government has put forth before

ANON says:

cynically speaking, we'll probably get a dumb answer that we'll accept or forget anyway

Where did the stories go?

2008-05-17T21:05:00.004+08:00

Since I have taken leave from homework for the rest of this day, tis a lovely time to blog.

So..what should it be about today?

The Straits Times did an article on a recently popular writer in Singapore, and from the look of the books, it hardly is surprising that it would get hit by the label of being mainstream, "middle-brow", with the corresponding critics that go along with it. But one little quote from the author caught my interest.

"I always want to say, 'And who do you think was commercial fiction 200 years ago?' I mean, we look at Shakespeare, Dickens, Jane Austen. The people we read today as the classics were actually people doing what I do back in their time."

I have not read the books, and am not very up to date with current literature/fiction, but another interpretation of this that I'd like to putter on about would be the whole literature-vs-fiction (or the heavier weighing term of "popular fiction"). What actually defines the two, and make one perceived to be higher in its class?

Hm..perceived. That's a loaded word in itself.

The whole idea of drawing a line between literature and fiction is a rather problematic one, since it's often a matter of taste; one man's meat is another man's poison, so to speak. To me, literature isn't the usual East, West by Salman Rushdie and No Other City or any of those usual stuffy "literary" texts. Just because it has been produced in a more literary manner (the usual anthology of dunnowhat), or because it is written by a famous literary guy dealing with a theme of postcolonialism that hardly anyone cares for with a wild gamut of literary devices (can you buy one in a hardware store?) that almost seem as though the literary people pulled them out from between the spaces of the lines, doesn't make it any more or less literary than the fiction books in Borders.

If writing is communication, then what would matter more would be the message, and bringing it across as clearly as possible. Granted, literary devices do have their place in getting it across, things such as symbolism do add richness to a story's message. But literary devices do not make a story, both in the process of writing and perceiving. From the point-of-view of my own writing, literary devices can be compared to that of having a piece of music, and adding the little flourishes and additional bits that weave a stronger and richer melody together. It's not so much like that from the point-of-view of a English class, where every scrap of a device is scrounged for and the only thing people see it as is devices, devices, devices. Brings to mind a hardware store with endless racks of shiny new devices cold-pressed from a factory somewhere. Mental industrialization.

And in this little neurotic search for the little cheeses in a maze, it misses out on the overall view of the story: the narrative. The daily hustle and bustle of the characters, living life in many ways poignantly similar to ours, simply by the fact that life is a sort of narrative, where we move in a trail across time, growing on the way, meeting new characters and personalities, growing with them too. And as we make our way across the ups and downs of life, we are the protagonists of our own narratives, forming our own stories of life in ways not too dissimilar to the characters and their lives that we put on the page. Perhaps this is why the overall narrative that runs through the stories, the life and times of our favourite characters are so well liked, literary devices and all. The lives of characters on the page are too similar to ours, that as they are presented, becomes almost like a person we've met before, be they witty, reticent, unlikable, with their pasts and experiences that defines a person. And as such, it no longer becomes a communication through the written word, but a communication from person to person, heart to heart. This is when normal text becomes that of literature, moving readers not through the stale font, but the sincerity of a person flowing through it.

And that's what makes literature, as I define it, speak to the hearts of people, leaving lasting impressions not from words, but from meeting the face of a person.

Knowledge and ethics

2008-05-14T21:25:00.001+08:00

Are there some types of knowledge that should not be sought on ethical grounds?

One area of knowledge to fall under this contentious issue in recent times is the natural sciences, more specifically our knowledge of cloning. One of the major arguments so far has been on the ethical issue of whether we are “playing God” with this knowledge, using it to create and transgress natural boundaries, the act itself not only being morally repugnant but potentially dangerous.

However, if we were to base the ethical limits on the knowledge we know to some natural or even divine boundaries, where crossing the lines would be an act of corrupting natural or divine laws, what would define these limits? In the case of cloning being an act against nature, the problem would then be what defines natural. After all, the basis of cloning is a natural one as well, allowing the division of cells needed in not only producing natural clones such as twins, but also providing the mechanism for our growth and recovery. One could then move on to argue that the process that it is carried out is not natural, as cloning involves the use of tools to manipulate the relevant materials. But for cloning to be successful, the procedures involved needs to be close as possible to natural conditions for the cells to grow. The underlying mechanisms still remain the same, except that the method is done differently. If one were to object to the knowledge of cloning on the basis of it violating natural laws, would this objection be based more off the technical aspects of natural processes, or would it be an objection from one’s notion of what “natural” is? As such, when would an ethical objection to cloning actually be a personal objection?

But to consider ethics in a more pragmatic sense, another objection would be the potential abuses and detriments the knowledge of cloning would have to society, if allowed to be researched and developed. For example, the issue of modifying babies before they are born. Some decry this as a case of designer babies, where people are treated more as products put through a mechanical process, and the changing of genes in order to produce “better” humans might result in a form of eugenics, where certain types of people are selectively preferred over one another, and the issue of those being too poor to afford such enhancements arise.

Once again, an argument similar to that of an objection from natural laws crops up, from how the process of selecting desirable traits becomes a mechanical, industrialized process. Not only are the mechanisms that allow the usage of this technology based on natural mechanisms, even the process of selection itself is a natural one, as made famous in Darwin’s Origin of Species. For some reason, consciously selecting desirable traits is abhorrent, but as human beings go through society, they are also being put through a selection process, be it one’s grades in school, promotions and pay in the workplace, and one’s social and professional status. All these will eventually “select” us based on our relevant capabilities. If not now, when? If not us, who?

Another opposition is that the knowledge here does little for the poor and disadvantaged, as they are unable to benefit from it while the privileged pull ahead. Given the current problems of the growing rich-poor divide in the world, there is a good likelihood of such a problem, but halting the development of such technologies by itself would also do little to solve poverty if no other action is taken. In that way, it might be a means of stopping the divide, but doesn’t actually address the problem of poverty. Another problem would then arise. Should the needs, and in some cases the wants of others be a stopping block to others pursuing knowledge that can bring themselves benefit? Furthermore, a well-developed knowledge of cloning and related fields has the potential to benefit society as a whole, not just the rich.

Finally, in light of the previously discussed points, the question should be turned about on its head. Are there some types of knowledge that should be sought on ethical grounds, in that case? By restricting our knowledge on cloning and genetic manipulation, at the same time, we may be taking away potential treatments for those affected by incurable or debilitating diseases, allowing future children to be born with lifelong defects that in no way enriches one’s life, and the right parents have to give the best for their children. As such, there is more than one side to the same argument, and not only should we look at the potential problems, but also the potential benefits.

-----

A ToK reflection that I did, thought it would do as a filler in the time being.

Still alive.

2008-05-11T19:50:00.003+08:00

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: huge success.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture science.
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
And as they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you.

Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.
So I'm glad I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
That was a joke. Haha. Fat chance.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Still alive
Still alive

- Still Alive, Ellen McLain, sourced from LyricsMode.com

...after a 3hr Biology essay marathon.

Randy Pausch Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-05-04T17:08:00.005+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Another one of those video lectures, titled as above. If you follow the link to the relevant university page, you can also find the transcript, which may be easier to handle and finish in the short or otherwise non-existent free time we have.

So. The whole idea here is about reaching your dreams. One of the points was about hitting a "brick wall", an obstacle not meant to keep you out, but to let you show how much you want something. Not only that, I'd guess. Sometimes the wall might be there to also remind you to look at the little avenues and paths less travelled, which you might have missed out along the way. For example, not being able to clinch scholarships and enter the ~~imperial courts~~ medical or law courses, or anything else commonly perceived as a "proper" job that can keep you on the gravy train, might not be a bad thing.

Someone I know went into a polytechnic to learn game design, as opposed to most of us going towards IB, if not the A-levels. To society here, it is easily seen as something sub-par. But what if at the end of all this, while we while away at office jobs, someone is actually enjoying his work and maybe making a name for himself?

That will be quite a laugh.

The scrawled symbol

2008-04-27T20:52:00.006+08:00

During PC, there was this interesting exercise we had to do. Colourful markers and crayons were laid on pieces of drawing block, a sight not seen for close to a decade. We were told to draw something about ourselves.

Simple. Get a black crayon-thing. Draw. And the above is what resulted. To me, what the above picture meant was:

- Simplicity. Why head for all those colourful knick-knacks, when one crayon was enough to say the same thing?
- Straightforward.
- Past, present and future. The past has been done, the present is being written, and the future remains to be charted.
- Knowledge, and the love of it. A certain Greecian word comes to mind.
- Perhaps a bit old-fashioned, bookish.
- A love for writing, artistic?
- In some ways impersonal, a lifetime as a phase of history to be chronicled.

Anyone wants to try?

Computer troubles

2008-04-27T20:47:00.003+08:00

The computer's back, but with no idea where the problem went off to. Apparently it worked fine when it was sent off for diagnosis. Nothing much has changed, MSN is fried, and the internet only goes to Wikipedia and Google related sites. So I shall just blog this.

Perfection

2008-04-24T17:59:00.004+08:00

The spark of inspiration struck right off the Muse can seem too perfect to despoil with unprepared hands, a gem in the rough that can only be hewn with the best of tools and the most diligent and perfect of skills.

Recently, I've come across a post on a forum somewhere, where the writer, after describing a story about a person stuck between life and death, and the delicate nature of its themes, declares: "It must be perfect." Of course, some ideas seem to be divinely wrought, suddenly manifesting in a flash of inspiration and insight, and as writers (or those dedicated to the creative arts in general), it is not surprising that such gems of ideas, unique to each person's thoughts, are so highly valued.

Value is one thing, but the process is another. Ideas, being borne out of ever-changing mindscapes, are not immutable gemstones, but rather fluid, organic things that evolve with time. In a way it's like the concept of daemons in Warhammer 40k, beings borne out of the inner wishes and motivations of sentient minds. If given enough time and thought, they may take on new and unexpected dimensions, develop in far more unique ways than we had expected. This chaotic process of discovery leads one off on new roads, for good or for ill, and becomes a journey to see things anew, an inroads into one's self, and sometimes brings us to new destinations far more exciting than where we had started.

And when one sits down to sculpt out the very essence of this "perfect" idea, the same problem becomes much more apparent. In the process of thinking and working the fine marble, the idea begins to sprout and grow in one's thoughts, taking in other ideas and forming them as part of it's whole. New branches might develop from the main body, and bud with fresh insights, and what was once that austere marble, perfect and flawless, now takes on a life of its own. Granted, plants too need pruning if its to be grown to a particular design. But the thing is, the perfect, flawless gem of an idea might not be so much a thing to be sculpted, but a seed to be grown and nutured, a map to a greater journey beyond the four walls that say "perfect".

In a way, it's not so much chipping at hard, immutable perfection, but carving with the grain of the wood, feeling it's flow and letting it guide the artist's hand, as the hand guides its shaping.

In the mind...

2008-04-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

When people hope for a change for the better, it goes from simply hoping for a better day, to the more fantastical, wishing for a world of fantasy and magic, yearning to be someone or something else (as with the transformation and related genres). But pining for a better, more colourful existence, as a sad fact, does not make it become reality as much as we would like it to. After all, if you'd like to live in the realms of Tolkien, or take the form of a simple creature to live in the wilds and so on, far detached from the everyday humdrum, by most chances you'd still be living in the mundane bubble of our world. Even simply hoping a better tomorrow doesn't make it jump right into the pages of our lives, despite being closer to reality.

In the process, it is also easy to forget the little technicalities and troubles that would come with what we're hoping for. A fantasy world of elves, dwarves and men amidst epic conflicts, presented to us through the pages of a book, conveniently excludes the little drudgeries of daily life. A full 45 points, as glorious as it may be, comes with the price tag of tedious work, higher expectations, perhaps losing sight of those smaller, less point-based callings lurking about.

And in the process of working towards something, should it be possible, we might just reach there, and find that it wasn't all we expected it to be despite all our troubles for that ideal existence. An often said advice for this is to be content with what you have.

Perhaps another way of going around it would be to already have that better day or existence you've hoped for. The happy, sunshiny day tomorrow, could be the better, sunshiny day today, even if those raindrops keep fallin' on your head...

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me"

...the exciting, magical worlds far beyond ours could also be the stone right under your feet, if we'd just look. Who says our existence is without magic? The wonders of technology, the realms and thoughts opened up by the written word, the thrill of moving music. In a way, it is a magic unto itself.

Even the concept of heaven. Some hope for a better life after this, an ideal existence for eternity. For all it's joys and pains, poverty and fullness, life is in some way heaven on earth, if one takes it to be so. It's amazing that we're even here to start with, a small alloted time to take in the sights and sounds on life's way, to see and meet the world in it's myriad forms, before flickering out into the unknown.

It's a breezy Sunday afternoon, and I'll take the world as it is, even with the Bio notes that sit upon my desk.

Habbo Hotel

2008-04-14T18:07:00.001+08:00

Under the tags of people who play Habbo (like those in the blogger profiles), a search brings up this:

People on Habbo interested in:

Philosophy: 1 people

Writing: 5 people

On the other hand...

Naruto: 255

Emo: 735

Even God gets a decent shoo-in of 99.

Hm......

It's funny that...

2008-04-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

...at this point, life has become something to be lived through a day at a time. Considering that all those little days will eventually run out like a little counter with red digital numbers ticking down to zero, the way it's going now is pretty cheap. Just washing away, day by day.

I guess that's how it is, living as a standard-issue, factory-made citizen still in the process of become a full-fledged working unit of society. Life's pretty cheap that way, without the hopes and aspirations. Anyone could grow a mass of flesh and bone, build a mass of cogs and springs and send it out to work.

Maybe what's needed is some space to think and dream.

Education and creativity

2008-03-21T20:19:00.001+08:00

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/66

There we go.

Admittedly, it's a lazy way of making a blogpost. But it's food for thought, for the many who have gone through or are going through the stage's of education that marks (should I say define?) one's life. On that count, I'll take it as a reminder not to mistake my education/job (largely synonymous at any rate) with life.

Somehow I think the C in the CAS programme has failed on that count.

Feel free to comment or discuss.

First Call

2008-03-19T21:26:00.000+08:00

So...this is the blog.

Was going to introduce this blog a bit, but perhaps I'll let Time do so on my behalf.

In the posts to come, feel free to leave comments, questions or replies.

(I blame the start-of-campaign-drama from a whole party of DnD players. You know who you are =P.)